Talk:Don't Look Back/@comment-3575890-20150905195050
TRIGGER WARNING (just in case) This is going to be really TMI, but I need to talk about this. So what was supposed to be a low-key night with the girls turned into a huge house party at my friend's cousin's place. Now, the last time I was there, I was stranded there for three days with no way home. I did not want that to happen again, so around the wee hours of the morning, when the guy I'd been hanging out with most (let's say his name is Z) at the party offered to drive me home, I accepted. Only, he didn't take me home. Turns out Z lives in a small town outside the city, and thus decided to take me back with him and his friend instead of take me home. I was drunk and not paying attention to where we were going. It wasn't until we were on the highway headed out of the city and his friend sitting beside me tried to ever-so subtly molest me that it clicked in that I wasn't in a good situation. An hour and a half later, I ended up in this small town I've never been before with no idea how I was going to get home. However, Z was a good friend of my good friend's cousin (who I know pretty well), so I figured at the very least nothing too bad would happen. Z had dropped off a few other people before he told me he was too tired to take me home, but promised he would in a few hours. It was already 5 in the morning, so that wasn't very assuring, but at that point I was already pretty much left with no choice but to go with it. His friend definitely made me uncomfortable as hell, but I figured I'd be alright as long as Z was around. When we got inside and as he stepped out for a smoke though, his friend swooped right in. He didn't even try to make it look like an accident. He just came up behind me and groped my ass just as he groped me in the car. I told him I didn't like that and he apologized for making me uncomfortable and went straight to the couch to pass out. At this point, I realized Z had no intention of taking me home until the next morning, and I dreaded the idea of sleeping there, but I didn't have much of a choice. For some reason at least, I trusted Z; or at least a lot more compared to his friend. I was given the guest bedroom upstairs (much to my relief) while his friend slept on the couch downstairs. The fact that there was a whole floor between me and his friend and Z was just across the hall made me feel a little less uneasy. I obviously fought hard to stay awake, but I was just too drunk and tired to do it. I was out. An hour or so later I awoke to his friend who I had beforehand MADE SURE went to sleep on the couch downstairs crawling into bed with me. When he realized I was awake, he said it was too cold to sleep downstairs and for a moment, I willed myself to believe that was all it was. That he was actually cold and drunkenly crawled into bed with me because it was warm, but no of course that wasn't it. I knew what his intentions really were, but I was so afraid I had seemed to have lost my ability to move. He started brushing his entire body up against me, holding me tight against him, running his hands down my body, and trying to kiss my neck. Now, I have been in a lot of uncomfortable positions with men like this before; even in situations where I'd had to use force, but never in one so frightening that I froze up. I had never felt so helpless. I really thought he was going to rape me and there was nothing I could do because I couldn't fucking move a muscle. Something within me must have snapped though because when his hands went south, I was able to firmly tell him to stop. He did stop THAT, but not everything else. He was still trying to cajole me into sex. I remember him bartering with something like, "can I just do this and that then." I told him no and that I was extremely uncomfortable. Just like that he apologized (AGAIN) and told me he would go back downstairs. As soon as he left, I burst into tears. I didn't even known I was holding my breath until I let it out in one big cry of relief. The guest room door would not close or lock so basically, I was a sitting duck afraid he'd change his mind and come back. Z heard me crying though and came into the room asking if I was okay. Then he asked me if I wanted him to join me. I decided I'd have rather him be in bed with me than his friend, so I said yes. But it was pretty apparent that he had exact the same intentions as soon as he got into bed with me. I felt a lot safer with him though (or as safe as you can feel in my position) because he wasn't forceful and he listened when I told him I was uncomfortable or to stop. He didn't overstep his boundaries like his friend or ignore me when I said no so I was able to relax and get what little sleep I did. Let me tell you, the ride back home was the most uncomfortable of my life. I was seated between him and his friend for the whole hour and a half and I could barely look either of them in the eye. This is the last time I ever let a guy "drive me home." Anyways, I'm sorry to talk about this. I understand it might be too personal, but I just had to get it out. It's been bothering me ever since it happened. In my position, a lot worse could have happened and that's really why my mind keeps lingering on this. This could have ended really horribly for me. I really feel like I dodged an enormous bullet. It's also got me thinking: how do I always get into situations like this? Why am I always treated like this? What is it about me that makes guys think they have the green light to do whatever they want? I'm just so tired of being treated like a sex object.